Shout out to girls who don’t mind being called dude and man casually
shout out to boys who don’t mind being called guuurrl
shout out to humans who don’t mind being called dawg
shout out to dogs who will let you call them anything so long as you say it in a happy, friendly tone.
Shout out to Guinea Pigs which are neither pigs nor from Guinea.
This.. is the best cake EVER.
THAT’S A CAKE?
“Oh, this is a pretty cool statue - A CAKE? WHAT THE HELL?”
What evil person would want to eat this sort of cake though.
slow clap for the harry potter fandom
Me: *places sock on counter*
My mom: What's this? Why is it here? *hands me the sock*
Me: MASTER HAS GIVEN DOBBY A SOCK!
my mom: not too much eyeliner. guys find too much eyeliner unattractive
boys= nasty and dress bad
me= somehow still likes boys and is disappointed in myself and thinks i should do better
Asexuality by Tiny Dinosaur :)!
Do u ever hate an entire subset of ppl so much
I hate these people, they immediately bring up ‘we have hybristophilia stop kink shaming’ there are lots of -philias that can and deserve to land you in jail and this is one of them
Cashier: That'll be $4.03
Cashier: That's ok, I have the three cents
so it was my brother’s thirteenth birthday today and he came home from school with this horror-struck expression on his face and came into my room and sort of just stood there
and i asked him “what’s wrong?”
and he said “MY GIRLFRIEND HUGGED ME AND SAID HAPPY BIRTHDAY”
and i was like “well that’s good isn’t it?”
and then he came closer and just whispered, really quietly “no you don’t understand i said happy birthday BACK”
im still laughing oH FUCK
he likes to celebrate human holidays
all forms of shipping are disgusting and shameful
how did someone have the perfect picture for this
like did you go to google and search “bemused mailman”
I really want a science fiction story where aliens come to invade earth and effortlessly wipe out humanity, only to be fought off by the wildlife.
They were expecting military resistance. They weren’t counting on bears.
Literally I would read thousands of words of this.
oH YM GOD CONNOR MADE ME A GIF OF THAT GUY I WAS TALKING ABOUT
LOOK AT HIM
HE KNOWS SOMETHINGS UP MAN
THIS BROTHER AIN’T HERE FOR ALEXANDER PIERCE’S BULLSHIT
I mean what’s the worst that could happen?